3/28/2024 Season 23 ALL-STAR GAME RECAP Dick McAuliffe started at SS for the SP All-Stars in ASG24, and the Commish owned this card as a kid
The best and brightest – or the Least Sucky and mostly Untarnished - Stars of the Bad News Bears League descended upon the City of Las Vegas to celebrate their annual All Star Game and Festivities. The Mayor of Las Vegas, the Honorable Carolyn Goodman warmly welcomed the teams and stated “Las Vegas has already hosted a Formula 1 Race and the Super Bowl in 2024, now we have the Bad News Bears League All Star Classic returning to Las Vegas and we intend to make THIS the Premier Event of Las Vegas 2024.”
The Pacific/South Division All Star Team was designated a $215/$100 Favorite due to home field, better players, better management, and the fact they had No Charlie Browns or Peace Frogs on their rosters.
All stops were pulled out as the opening day festivities featured a special Event hosted at the Sphere – BNBL Team Logos were intermittently displayed on the Sphere as well as Highlights from the Season 8 All Star Game which was also played in Las Vegas at the Old Stu Ungar Field. That game was ultimately decided, in dramatic fashion, by a 3-Run Walk-off HR by Tom Tresh of the host Silver Sox.
Next up was a video comprised of Members of the BNBL Hall of Fame talking about their achievements and the honor of being recognized as one of the “Best of the Worst”. There were also a few awards handed out by the Host Team for important achievements during the Season.
Vinnie Chulk of the Generals won the MVORP - Most Valuable Opposing Relief Pitcher- for his sparkling performance in games 4 and 5 of this year – his completed Box Scores totaled 1 IP, 6 ER, 3H, 5BB and 2 Losses.
The Second, the WSPPBAT – Worst Starting Pitching Performance by A Team was claimed by the Bananas whose staff allowed 10 Hits, 10 Earned Runs, 6 BB, and a Wild Pitch in 3 -1/3rd Innings Pitched on Day 76 of this season.
Just after the second award was announced, the power suddenly went out and the Show abruptly ended. It was later determined that The Commissioner had inadvertently booked the Sphere for only 1.5 Hours instead of 2.5 and that he assumed the cost of the venue he was quoted was in Canadian Dollars – which is what the check was made out in.
NorthEast-Atlantic superstar (and 4-time ASG MVP) Eli Marrero, commonly nicknamed “ Deuce” for his affinity to hit 2 Homers in a Game – sneered “See you at the Game tomorrow losers” and left with a pair of attractive young women who said they would take REALLY good care of him and get him to the Park on time, upon hearing this news the Odds went to $275.00/$100.00 on The Pacific/South Side. One of the pitchers for the South/Pacific side, Stan Baumgartner of the Flibbertigibbets, when asked if he would throw at Marrero over his insults, replied “As a Non-Violent man I could never intentionally throw at an opposing player”, and in fact he has only hit a single batter this season. Ricky Nolasco of the Silver Sox said “Don’t worry Stan, I’ve got your back, I’ll put one right on his thigh that will leave a welt he won’t soon forget.
That evening a Gala was held at The Palazzo’s grand Ballroom where a Baseball themed Meal was served. Hot Dogs, Cracker Jack, Nachos with Cheese, Popcorn, Pizza, Chicken Fingers, and Ice Cream sandwiches were the Bill of Fare while beverage options were Draft Beer, Bottled Beer, Craft Beer and Light Beer. For the Kids and teetotalers - Root Beer, or Birch Beer.
Finally the Texas Hold-Em Tournament was held, Each Owner was given $25,000 in Chips, two tables of 8 Owners, 4 from each Conference at each Table, were drawn at Random and Play was started with $25 and $50.00 Blinds:
Table 1 - Knights, Nine, Isotopes, Dirtbags, Wingnuts, Pathletics, Silver Sox, and AlyCats
Table 2 Charlie Browns, Peace Frogs, Mud Hens, Chiefs, Canadians, Flibbertigibbets, Generals, Bananas
The Peace Frogs were the 1st eliminated as they flopped a Jack High Straight, only to eventually be beaten by The Canadians who sucked out and rivered a Flush – leaving us with 15.
The next elimination was a Big One as The Wingnuts had pocket Queens, the Knights had Pocket Aces, and The Alycats, who were not really fully versed in Poker went all in with a pair of 3’s – Aly was called by The Wingnuts and The Knights, who she had both covered in chips – the Flop brought A-7-Q and the Knights owner gave a triumphant YES! HOWEVER, the Turn revealed a 3 and the River brought the last 3 for Quads, making the Aly Cats very unlikely winners and sending 2 more to the rail.
On Table 1 The Chiefs went all in against the Bananas with an open ended Straight draw as well as a Flush Draw, but it went for naught and the Bananas Two pair sent The Chiefs Home – leaving 11 Players – Sin City went all in with A-K after a Flop of J-10-7 – but was called by the Pathletics who held 7-10 for 2 pair, Sin City caught a Q on the Turn and the Pathletics were all but dead, until the Dealer Flipped a 7 completing a Full House. However, upon review it was determined that the dealer neglected to Burn a Card prior to the River and the 7 was Mucked, only to be replaced by a 10, Giving the Pathletics another Full House. However, it was determined due to the 7 already having been discarded, no Burn Card was required, the 10 also was Mucked and the River eventually was a 2 – sending an irate Pathletics Owner to the Rail – but with the story of a lifetime.
At this Point it was Determined that it would simply be too late to complete the Tournament and the Remaining 10 owners were paired off by luck of the Draw to play a best 3 out of 5 Paper, Rock, Scissors – Silver Sox, Isotopes, Charlie Browns, AlyCats, and Dirtbags all lost their RPS matches and that left 5 standing, which meant RPS was no longer an Option due to an odd number of People, It was decided that all owners got 7 numbers each on the Roulette wheel assigned to them and the 1st to get 3 hits would be the winner – Dommod of the Mudville Nine, in an incredible coincidence was awarded number 9 and it paid off as he hit the 9 twice in being the 1st to get 3 Hits.
Dommod becomes the Official Winner of the 1st ever Hold’Em/RPS/Roulette Tournament – He will be invited to defend his title in Season 40 if he is still in the League – he has a guaranteed spot and an all expenses unpaid trip!
(A huge thank you to SinCityMarauder for not only hosting this year’s All-Star Game, but also composing the above ASG Highlights story. As for the actual game, you can see the box score and/or watch the replay by checking out the links in the “Message Center” in the blue box on the home page.)
SPOILER ALERT!!!! - IF YOU WANT TO WATCH THE GAME BEFORE SEEING RESULTS, PLEASE STOP READING!!!!
The game itself was a low-scoring defensive battle for the first 8 innings. With the score tied 2-2 in the bottom of the 8th, the home team came to life, with the help of two home runs off the bats of Wes Helms and Tsuyoshi Shinjo (as well as some wildness from pitcher Jimmy Wiggs). The hosts scored 5 runs that inning to break the tie and pretty much seal the deal.
Rocky Biddle only faced two batters but was awarded the ASG24 MVP Award. He came on in the fifth inning after Dave Mlicki had truly earned his new nickname (Icky) by giving up two runs on three hits and a walk, being pulled with two men on base and just one out. Biddle struck out Jose Macias and then got Paul Householder to pop out to end the threat. It was a pivotal moment in the game.
With the victory, the South Pacificers narrowed the NEA’s lead in the all-time ASG series to 13-11.
Next year’s classic will be hosted by Toledo, this time the one in Ohio. ASG23 was also hosted by Toledo, but due to a mix-up (Commish incompetence), it was accidentally played in Toledo, Spain. So Ohio gets another shot at it.
Thanks again to Sin for the story. Good luck in the second half everyone!
Gus |
