Lead Story - 3/29/2021

XXXX Cold & Doosomething Bears

Several story lines have emerged as the All Star break has been thrust upon the UBL once again.

The Gold have gone cold! The XXXX Gold have lost much of their first-half luster as they've slumped to third in their division. They've only managed two wins in their last 12 contests, getting swept by both the Bad New Bears and the Bombers during that stretch. Meanwhile those same Bears have vaulted to the top of the division, narrowly ahead of the so-far underachieving Motor City Marvels.

Fans are starting to grumble in Doosan, where in some circles the Doosan OB Bears are being chided as the Do-something Bears. They trail their divisional bear counterparts by fifteen games as they hibernate at the bottom of the entire league. The pleas for team management to do something stem from their vast minor league stash of talent. While the losses pile up so have the comparisons, with locals hotly debating whether the organization more closely resembles a shipwreck lying listless at the bottom or a "mossol" which in Korean roughly translates to "someone alone since birth" since they won't be going to the big dance any time soon. All this has been in addition to the popular nicknames of BOO-san, the L.O.B Bears and last but not least, the B.O. Bears because they stink out loud. It's been a rough first season for the franchise after the move, putting Sherwood behind them.

League Chat Box

3/15/2021

1958 Rookies Selected, Poised For Success

The latest crop of fresh-faced talent has dispersed across the UBL. The number one overall pick Johnny Romano found a new home in Lake Wobegon. The Pioneers, already laden with catcher talent, made for a bit of a puzzler but there's no denying that Romano has ready-made talent at the plate.

Fan favorites Mudcat Grant and Coot Veal landed with the Pioneers and Baltimore Bulls respectively. A hopeful Jimmie Coker was taken last overall by the Cyclers but still hopes to make a major league roster in some capacity one day.

2/20/2021

Seeing Red

While it only took two Sunnydale pitchers to outlast Williamsburg's SIX(!) on opening night, they needed at least nine to get started. The problem was, they only had 8 pitchers turned in on their official roster card that afternoon. Long-time Slayers scout Fin Derfee threw the team a life line shortly before they were to forfeit the contest. "Yeah I dug up my old little-black-book, remembered I had seen Red tryout a few seasons back and I just hoped he still lived in the area." He was referring to reliever Red Barrett who has technically been a free agent since the UBL was formed. Red got the call, borrowed his girlfriend's truck, and less than an hour later jogged into the clubhouse at Sunnydale Park with his cleats slung over his shoulder.

While Barrett still has yet to see the mound as a professional, his teammates post-game hailed him as something more than a colleague; a good luck charm. The Slayers went on to narrowly defeat the Bombers 7-6 in a contest where both starters gave up 5 runs. Barrett's 1 day contract can reportedly be extended indefinitely, though local papers have speculated about Barrett's retirement from the game for several season.

2/18/2021

Going Nowhere Fast!

Baseball, America's slowest team sport. While that debate may rage amongst U.S sports fans, one organization is diving right in. Well, perhaps it's more of a lazy lean into it.

The new-look XXXX Gold were quick to leave Pflugerville behind in the offseason, but aside from their move nothing else is going quickly in the Quad-X camp. In fact, they're the slowest team in the UBL. They don't even have an above average pinch runner waiting in the wings. "We like our baseball as we like our bar-b-q..." said fan relations intern Winslow Lee, "... low and slow. And with beer." Someone reportedly sent four dozen molasses cookies to the Gold front office shipped, you guessed it, ground freight.

Unsurprisingly it will be a wait-and-see affair to find out whether they can plod their way into the postseason, and from there avoid a quick exit.